Sunday, October 31, 2010

On Mercury Detox

Good website detailing mercury detox protocol. I'm not about to do anything by myself because I'm afraid there will be further exacerbations. Same for anyone out there looking for help. Don't do it alone. Anything is worth a try. First stop: building up my nutrition. Kinda tough now because I have no appetite. It really feels just like when I got sick in summer 2007. I remember I would have fitful, very scared nights. I feel tremendous guilt for putting my host families through that. On top of that, whatever is going on with my system has my hormones really out of whack and I have all the symptoms of PMDD. Seeing my PCP on Monday but pretty sure I'll just get sent out with a perscription for allergy med and SSRI... good thing I'm also seeing someone who might be interested in doing some functional analysis. It's a mystery.

Hopefully I'll go back to my normal level of sub-functioning soon and no permanent damage is being done. Toxicities can mimic MS... and perhaps MS is a misdiagnosed form of environmental toxicity. Just a theory that should be investigated. Anyway, the point is people have exacerbations but there are also pseudo-exacerbations. Once the inflammation goes away, given time and extended periods of health, the brain has the proven ability to regenerate and heal itself, or redirect messages through areas of the brain that are not damaged. If damage occurs in the spine the same flexibility isn't there...

Gee I wish this is what they taught in biology class. I would have got better grades. But when I was in biology class we were learning about the amino acids (yay histidine... histamine.. all this stuff...) but I didn't get far enough to study how it all actually worked.

Ingredients in the Vaccines I had prior to everything changing:

Gardasil: (from link Dang that off the radar site is good. It also makes sense with the link I posted yesterday about why putting histidine in with all these toxins is simply not a good idea.

Aluminum 225mcg

Animal and human studies have shown aluminum can cause nerve cell death and that vaccine aluminum adjuvants can allow aluminum to enter the brain, as well as cause inflammation at the injection site leading to chronic joint and muscle pain as well as fatigue.

Sodium Borate 35mcg

This is the main ingredient in Boric Acid. Powdered Boric Acid is often used to kill cockroaches. Sodium Borate is now listed as a dangerous poison. Symptons of Sodium Borate poisoning are very similar to many of the side effects being reported with the Gardasil vaccine.

Polysorbate 80 50mcg

Although Polysorbate 80 is a food additive that enables solubility of flavouring oils with water, injection is quite different. Polysorbate 80 injected into prepubescent rats caused a rapid growth of reproductive organs, but growth was abnormal and the rats were sterile, unable to have children. When used intravenously with vitamins it has been known to cause anaphylactic shock. According to the Polysorbate 80 MSDS, it may be a carcinogenic, (cause cancer), as well as a mutagenic, (birth defects).

L-histidine 0.78mcg

L-histidine is an essential amino acid which is a precursor to allergic reactions. It stimulates the inflammatory response of skin and mucous membranes (one possible cause of the allergic reactions reported). It is also responsible for forming metal bearing enzymes (such as the toxic metal storage protein metallothionein). Metals such as zinc, copper, and nickel are transported by binding to L-histidine and the binding is essential for excretion of excess heavy metals. Many parents of autistic children are quite familiar with Metallothionein and MT deficiency.

Sodium Chloride 9.56mcg

Common salt

Yeast Protein 7mcg

This is a hidden form of MSG, as it creates synthetic free glutamic acid in the processing, which in simpler terms is MSG. Most vaccines contain some hidden form of MSG (eg hydrolysed gelatin) as this feeds the live virus.


5oo mcg Aluminum

Hepatitis Vaccine:
Formaldehyde. 2.66 mcg

Couldn't really find the ingredients for the other two vaccines. They're pretty well hidden. It doesn't look like I was exposed to Thimerosal but I'm sure I was as a child as I made it through all the scheduled shots without issue. Just need to keep telling myself that I have recovered from this before therefore I should be able to recover from this again. 頑張ろうね。

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Detox Pesto

Not sure this will work out but it's worth a try... found it at


This pesto is a very good detox for the body and it's so easy to make.

Heavy Metal Detox Pesto

Cilantro/Coriander Chelation Pesto

Heavy-metal poisoning is rampant. It is a major cause of hormonal imbalances, cancer, thyroid problems, neurological disturbances, learning problems, depression food allergies, and parasites.

Cilantro -- also known as coriander or Chinese parsley -- has been proven to chelate toxic metals from our bodies in a relatively short period of time. (The word chelate comes from the Greek word for claw, and describes a process which acts to engulf and then enable the removal of a highly reactive toxic mineral.)

Combined with the benefits of the other ingredients, the following recipe for Cilantro Chelation Pesto is a powerful tissue cleanser. It is not only easy to make, but also really tasty. It's delicious on toast, baked potatoes, and pasta.

Two teaspoons of this cilantro pesto daily for three weeks is purportedly enough to increase the urinary excretion of mercury, lead, and aluminum, thus effectively removing these toxic metals from our bodies. Consider doing this cleanse for three weeks at least once a year.

a.. 4 cloves garlic

b.. 1/3 cup Brazil nuts (selenium source)

c.. 1/3 cup sunflower seeds (cysteine source)

d.. 1/3 cup pumpkin seeds (zinc, magnesium sources)

e.. 2 cups packed fresh cilantro (coriander, Chinese parsley) (Vitamin A source)

f.. 2/3 cup flaxseed oil

g.. 4 tablespoons lemon juice (Vitamin C source)

h. Bragg's Liquid Aminos

Process the cilantro and flaxseed oil in a blender until the cilantro is chopped. Add the garlic, nuts, and seeds, dulse and lemon juice and mix until the mixture is finely blended into a paste. Add a squirt of Bragg's Liquid Aminos to taste and blend again. Store in dark glass jars if possible. It freezes well, so purchase cilantro in season and fill enough jars to last through the year.

Articles I Don't Want to Forget

They are all accessible from the page.
Smart lady. My hero.

Feeling awful this evening. Lots of brain fog and whole left side feels strange.


Well. Was feelin a bit better when I woke up... got to sleep last night finally. Progesterone cream helped knock me out. Mum says according to her research it was used as an anti-seizure in the past.

Actually picked up a few things around the house this morning... but then the chest pain started again. Need to get the negative thoughts out of my head such as, "what is the incidence of heart worm in humans...?"

Let's just hope that I survived the first bad flare of this (almost four years ago xD )... so maybe I can survive this time too.

Looking at pictures that make me happy and trying to figure out. And now I have all this time on my hands to try to contact people going through the same thing and find out what works and what doesn't.


There's my bird Tink. She's a sort of yellow-pearl cockatiel. I wouldn't say that she's a lutino... just somethin really unique about her and the friendliest cockatiel I've met. Except I have a cockatiel Popcorn whose previous owner looked like my dad and she is sooo friendly to him. I'm pretty sure she thinks he's her mate. Just wanted to brighten up my blog a bit.

Friday, October 29, 2010

So Frustrated

; _ ;

Chest pain, palpitations, mostly left side and in arm but also feeling on right side tonight. Can't really talk to anyone in my immediate circle, I've hit the "dead horse" that is trying to figure out why I'm feeling so sick. My parents are convinced that progesterone is a miracle problem and it will cure all my ills. Aren't open to the idea that parasites could be a part of this... even though the evidence is *ahem* in the toilet. And my husband is just too tired after staying up all night studying for a midterm.

Don't know who to talk to so I'll just write in this blog. Then I can keep track of how I'm feeling.

Makes me mad that they say "oh you're just feeling bad because your hormones are out of line." They're reading books on PCOS and stuff, but meanwhile I feel like they are tuning out what I have to say. They are as blinded as the Drs who form their opinions of you the moment you walk in the room. YES my hormones are out of line, but there must be an underlying reason. And, if progesterone cream was such a miracle, then taking it should have leveled me out. And who cares if it levels out my emotions if the rest of me still feels sick and falling apart? It makes me break-through bleed and I suspect instead of having a period this month... well I just got a gigantic cyst that I'm waiting to dissolve! (I'm hoping it will, and wondering if it couldn't be related to parasites...) You're not supposed to stay on hormones that are not your own, the endocrine system works in negative feedback loops and responds to the level of progesterone in the system. If there is progesterone, it does not have to produce it.

And all the happy healthy college students are living it up on Halloween.

Mailed Dr. Flannery to ask if he ever works collaboratively/through/with/consults Drs. I sure hope so, and of course the Dr I have will have to agree.

Feeling really lonely and like this will never end...

Just a Link

Free Press, Press Release regarding Gardasil.

Amen to this.

Until mainstream medicine, or any medicine for that matter, finds out what is causing my problems, I will believe that it is Gardasil that triggered them, regardless of whether they were underlying issues before the shot. Better lying in wait then troubling me nearly everyday of my life.

Even the mayo clinic website outlines a list of symptoms, most of which I have experienced to one degree or another since getting the shot- as side effects. I hope some smarty-pants up there decides to figure out how to help people's vaccine damage, although most students are probably concerned with following the Gold-Brick ROAD to $$$ (Radiology, oncology, anaesthesiology, and dermatology...) don't forget cardiology and neurology--true story, I have done a lot of reading on what it takes to become a doctor because since I became sick I dreamed of going to medical school. Although since vaccines affect so many neurologically (what's with the aluminum additives and msg excitotoxins? ethylmercury? really!) I really wanted to go to med school or do my science classes so that I could someday help people going through what I am. And then overwhelming waves of pessimism wash over me when I see the state of the system. Practicioners that get closest to addressing the fundamental issues are rare: naturopaths, functional medicine drs. (And I don't know if naturopathy has quite figured out vaccine reactions yet... nature didn't intend for these poisons to be layered upon developing young people... of course I knew nothing of this... received all my vacs through elementary school, didn't opt out, didn't think twice and now I can't stop thinking about it, it is with me everyday) Like I said, those drs are rare, their treatments are expensive, they're not covered, and just like the vaccines they are up until now untested.

Felt pretty bad this morning despite sleeping well. Made it though my Japanese class (and test), think I did well. Didn't do so well on my science midterms from a couple weeks back. I was feeling pretty sick and was just sort of coasting through my classes... not attacking them as I liked to pre-Gardasil. More restlessness, feeling weak, tired, hungry, empty, heat sensations, and nauseated. But I made it and am doing better at home.

Good Night's Sleep and Feeling a Little Better

Yay! I was able to get a good night's sleep last night. It didn't stop me from sending a worried message to my primary doc... asking where I could go for help for this since we weren't really getting anywhere together (but I think my doc is pretty sharp, my case is just too complicated for 15 min. office visits which is the name of the game in modern med. in America.) Didn't take any meds either. I also had to ask for some documentation of my visits so I can turn them in with the petitions to withdraw without a W from my classes due to extended illness.

I'm off to ride the bus to take a Japanese test, and since I withdrew from my other classes I can just come home and rest, or do some other restful activity. Maybe I really do just need this resting period... need my diet to be good. The weather is sunny (rare around here), and the test shouldn't be too hard. Japanese is my strong point. My schedule has been pretty much go-go-go since I came back to the uni in Winter 2008... taking summer classes, working... it's no wonder that a crash and burn had to occur.

It's ridiculous, but I think I really might have a parasite. I ate a bell pepper that tasted moldy (raw) a little before all this started... I eat sushi... I should spare everyone the details, but lets just say my husband thought he saw little invaders and I've had a few other parasite-y symptoms. Everytime I bring this up to the doc they say no way it's impossible, like life in America is parasite free. In other countries they still take herbs annually for annual de-worming, At least my Korean husband said this is the case in Korea. But I'm kind of in a vulnerable state right now so I don't want to take anything real strong...

Plans for the weekend? I guess not really, but if I'm still feeling better maybe I will try to get to a party a friend invited me to. I'm as sick of sitting around the house as anyone can imagine. It is Halloween... in my neighborhood only one child came to the house last year. I was handing out pencils and little clif-bars. Dunno if I wanna hand and everyone's favorite sweets... who knows what's in them.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

FInally, what's going on now

Hi folks.
Well I finished writing up background information blogs, they're by no means super organized but they kind of show the progression over time and avenues I have tried and have not tried. I've been reading a lot about Gardasil girls. Our problems are varied but they were all precipitated, or activated, from the vaccine. I will see my functional medicine Dr. on Monday with my mom and a GYN about the complex cyst on Nov. 8th (which is kind of scary, because its 3cm *3 cm which is about ping-pong ball if you think about it, sitting on the walnut sized ovary! Scared it might burst or something. Since that can be as serious as appendicitis, it would be no good if that went.

What did I do today?
Well, I woke up after a fitful non-sleep (for two days) because of strange feelings of heat and twitching, feeling like something bad is going to happen when I sleep. But I guess nothing bad has happened and I should just attribute it to this flare. I felt like this in Japan when it was real bad back in 2007. Can it get worse? Can it get better? Nobody knows because the vaccine has never been properly tested . But I guess I know that it can get better and as far as developing seizures or anything, I like to hold out hope that three years after receiving the vaccine I shouldn't have to worry about that. Klonopin which usually helps has not been helping, but I dragged myself to my one class today and got my papers so I can withdraw from the other two which I simply have not been able to commit my energy to due the symptoms.

Thinking about possible triggers of this episode I'm looking at:
-an herbal I received from a naturopath, designed to stimulate the immune system, my immune system is not ready to be stimulated I think and it's not her fault for not knowing, this is tricky business, I got hives and felt strange after it
-lack of sleep: the bad parts of the flare started when I went on vacation with my parents, it' had been a sleep deprived time and we went on vacation
-heat: I was doing saunas and hot tubs, and epsom salt baths when I got back... and the other day when I took a bath to try to help the ovary and my sinuses... I noticed my toe got tingly and numb-ish... feel more restless when hot.

Things I want tested: heavy metal toxicity (aluminum), hormone levels (another expensive saliva test >.< ' )

Things I want to work on: getting my strength and equilibrium back after this flare up

Since this began I really wanted to become some sort of doctor or even a naturopath but now I just want to get well, get well with others, help others get well, get the word out, and frankly, not otherwise have anything to do with the whole mess. What I really want to do is go back to my first love which is Japan, writing, feeling deeply and thinking clearly... enjoying life... and teaching English.

Symptoms Over Time, Specialists Seen and Tests Done

Symptoms Over Time after Receiving Gardasil Vaccination (Related or not, they are what they are) most symptoms come and go but "flares" in which old symptoms return or intensify are still felt.

June 2007

-anxiety, difficulty sleeping, "feeling weird"-heat sensations down arms, creepy crawly, urge to move, nausea, irritable bowel, eyes feel strange, chest pain, rapid heart beat (unexplained)

July 2007
-hair loss, weight loss, intensified anxiety and difficulty especially in evening time, afraid to fall asleep especially when alone (which was very hard during study abroad to Japan)

CBC normal, slightly elevated lymphocytes

August 2007
-continued symptoms, after trying beta blocker experienced first heart palpitations, continued heart palpitations, dizzy spells,

September 2007
-experienced first hot flash while on zoloft

Tried: neurologist (MRI, with follow up CT when an "air cell" was seen, not suspected as cause for symptoms), cardiologist (holter monitor, ECG (also done multiple times in Japan... Drs. pitying me performed it free of charge)stress test, cardiac MRI, have had extended Holter Monitor Follow up Since then) pediatrician (lyme (probably not a good test), CBC, metabolic panels numerous time, naturopath (cortisol found to be low in saliva tests) Vitamin D deficiency-suspected adrenal fatigue, used nutrition/vitamin IV therapy and supplements, dermatologist (for hair loss, no testing requested)

January 2008
After much prodding from my friends (I'm grateful for) urged me to go to college breaking me out of a deep situational depression when I felt I could control nothing in my life and that nobody would ever be able to help me, but have received sense of warmth from naturopath and alternative physicians, worst experience has been--- I MADE IT TO COLLEGE!

-one night sweat episode
-intermittent evening "feeling wierd" spells, call parents in tears when it happens

Continued efforts with naturopath: nutritional treatments (fatigued after them)

May 2008
-met a boy first term at college, turned out to be the one (currently married, don't got the paperwork yet though)
-first LARGE floater noticed... eyes just seem to be deteriorating
-menstrual period absent for 3 months, jump started with progesterone pill,
-weight gain


Winter break 2008-2009
-Went to Korea (my husband is Korean), node on neck became irritated and swollen, caught a cold toward end of trip... suffered through winter term with

MONO- liver involvement highly elevated liver enzymes, nausea, swollen nodes and tonsils, haven't recovered since. Add this to the relapsing, remitting symptoms previously addressed, chronic fatigue definitely not helped by this

Summer 2009
-dizzy spell, went to ER, not knowing my history of course no tests were ordered and I was diagnosed with "dizziness"

Fall 2009
-working with Functional Medicine Dr., "paleo-mediterranean diet", drinking protein shake... raw vegetables irritated G.I. tract... adopted strict diet and am for the most part 100% organic foods

-at end of winter term, diagnosed with gallstone (don't attribute this so much to gardasil but to a poor diet (I ate school cafeteria food growing up), surgery to remove the gallbladder

Summer 2010
-brief respite from symptoms, riding bike everyday for about 1 hr, playing tennis with a sweet neighbor girl who my husband and I just adore, hanging out with friends, rediscovering old passions for crafts and art, don't have the same attention span for it... but taught myself how to knit and crochet...
neck and throat nodes, glands swelling, glands under tongue swollen since cold infection in spring term...

Tried: attempted the "paleo" diet... eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, lean protein... progesterone cream

Fall 2010:
-exacerbation of symptoms following similar pattern
-complex ovarian cyst, right side (scared that this is going to need surgery 3*3 cm) painful, thought it was appendicitis! yikes!
-more/increased eye symptoms (hopefully when the flare goes away then my brain or whatever is irritated will heal and these will resolve somewhat)
-for the first time before 2007 having difficulty functioning due to worry about symptoms

Winter 2010-2011:
-problems have gone away, feeling much better, a lot of help from acupuncture
able to participate in ballet 3 x a week and didn't miss any school except for a really bad cold 2/20 ish, periods regulated... acupuncture is amazing!

Been a While, Down For the Count

Ladies and Germs.

It's been a while since I've been in. Combination of good and bad. Made it out of summer term with A- in both sections of organic chemistry laboratory. Summer brought a respite from my symptoms. I think it's because I wasn't taking on as much as the summer before (when I was doing many many classes and also volunteer teaching a Japanese class.) All those are things I love to do but my body just doesn't take it that well I think.

I would first like to tell a short story, naw, make it a long story.

In June 2007 I was about to graduate from high school, and I'd recently been informed that I received a Mazda Foundation Scholarship to go to Japan for 6 weeks. At the same time, my grandfather was passing away.

Before that trip, I went for a sayonara physicial at my pediatrician. Before this time I went to the doctor maybe once, twice a year. I was healthy, with the occasional ear infection as I'd always had some drainage problems. At that physical I was given a clean bill of health, expressed no complaints, and then they brought in the vacs.

This included Gardasil, Menactra, and a hepatitis vaccine. I'd been coming off a cold and my mother asked "is it safe that these be administered when she is coming off a cold?" Without batting an eye they said "yes" and in complete blind faith I accepted the vaccinations: I'd never been squeamish about them.

I don't have the exact date, but I think it was about a week or less before graduation. I remained sick... my cold didn't let up. Graduation day I was hit with the most profound, odd, and frightening feeling I'd ever had in my life. I needed to use the toilet and I felt hot and restless. I remember asking my mother if I should go to the emergency room. She looked serious, and being a nurse, she suspected a vaccine reaction but did not tell me at that time. I was determined to go to my graduation, but was feeling restless and on edge the whole time, kind of out of touch and focus. And it was a blur. Like the intensity I felt life with had been drained away and everything had become less. But I made it through and went to a party with my friends. And for the most part I felt things went back to normal after that.

I had a little nausea in the mean time, digestive system wasn't quite right, attributed it to the excitement of getting to go to Japan again. I'd been to Japan a year before and truly had the most beautiful moment of my life, besides those one shares with family. Both were exchange immersion programs and Japan was where my passions and my talents were. I participated in the state-wide language speech competitions (took home 5th/35 in Division 1, didn't place in Division 2 but did well), laughed hard and played hard with my friends, ate junk food like crazy... did school musicals. I was a normal teen.

And then I was off for an orientation outside of San Francisco then Tokyo-bound but two days later. Felt a little weird, attributed it to the tired feeling you get when traveling. Couldn't sleep well but attributed it to jet-lag. Felt extremely nervous but attributed it to excited energy when I was riding the shinkansen to meet my host family in Hiroshima. For the first few days... being swept through entering a new home, meeting neighbors, introducing myself at school, meeting new friends... things went alright.

However, there was an escalation of symptoms which has not since decreased however there tend to be flares and remissions of varying lengths. These includes:
-Chest tightness/difficulty breathing
-Rapid heart rate, including at rest
-Feeling strange, difficulty falling asleep: restless, hot feeling, great sense of unease with urge to move
-Irritable Bowel
Toward the end of my stay, the symptoms progressed to include
-Strange feeling on face, around eye (right side worse)
-Hair loss
-Sense that something was wrong with eyes, jumpy (although now it includes floaters (started after taking Celexa)... could've just been the progression of whatever is going on...

How I survived, I don't know. The memories are still fond and I still yearn for the day that I may be able to go back to Japan, such as to teach English. Dealing with these symptoms made me desperately want to become a physician or naturopath doing research on problems such as these (which I believe was set off by the vaccine, regardless of whether it was an underlying issue... I truly believe that it would not be as severe as it is if I had never received the Gardasil vaccine, especially in conjunction with Menactra and Hepatitis B vaccine. I survived climbing up the steep staircase to put the clothes on the line and being attacked by wasps on the little balcony where the clothes were hung ;)

I do believe a lot of this I have documented in a journal I kept during my journey. I'll make a mental note that this is something I can show to doctors while looking for help. So that is a background story, but I'm also going to publish a blog of everything I have experienced since being vaccinated in June 2006 and if I am able to obtain specifics I will provide them. I will provide a blog detailing tests I have had done (good now that I'm having a full flare up of the symptoms) so that I will have everything in my mind and I'll try to make other posts more or less organized (I may use them to go to my appointments.)

And then when I get all this background information out of the way I can start writing about the day to day.