Comet Ca$h

Well two acupuncture treatments.done. I do notice a difference! My sore throat isn't gone but I'm sure mono won't cure itself overnight. However, in general, my whole body just feels better.

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I brought a present for Christmas over to the neighbors since they're so good to us and are really friendly neighbors and got hooked up with getting to start my volunteering at the elementary school early. And they really needed a lot of help today~~ it was a Winter Holiday Carnival and there was a bazaar with donated goods. They earned some "Comet" Cash for doing homework and for being good in their classes and then got to spend it... and go "shopping" and bought things for special people in their lives. With hundreds of youngsters of all ages... it was quite a happening. They broke me in pretty quick~ But now winter break has begun for EVERYONE and now there is no escape from my house and the major BRO-mance going on with Max and his brother. So I'm kind of the odd one out wishing I had some girl friends to hang out with.

I really need to get on my Christmas cards.

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So I have a lot of options on when to graduate and what to do after, I guess those options will depend on when I go to see an advisor to find out if there are any classes I would have to take if I decided not to graduate from the honors college. There are a bunch of schools I would like to apply to teach at in Japan... and whether or not I could enter the companies sort of is weighing in my mind as a deciding factor of what I want to do with this graduation thing. I have one Japanese class left for a Japanese degree. General science is totally out the window because I don't want to be here for 3 more years to take all the classes I would have to in order to get that degree.

OR

I could stay in the honors college, start the time consuming thesis process... write it through the summer, and maybe get it wrapped up, stamped, graduated by the end of fall and apply to the JET Programme. Which is the "Cadillac" english teaching entry job... but the private companies don't sound that bad, although the purpose is a lot different than the government sponsored programs because it brings the company, corporation component into teaching.

Finals Week!

Finals Week!

Well, technically my finals week (and my term) has been over since Monday... but Max (my husband) won't be done with his finals until about noon on Friday. That means my "best friend" is busy all week and I have "no one to play with." Haha it's definitely testing me. His brother is visiting. I meant to write a long blog to celebrate making it to December, to be my first December blog, but some other things I wanted to put in my blog beat me to it.

I'm going to take the plunge and try acupuncture. It's supposed to help with anxiety, nausea, and chest pain~~ I figure there's nothing I can loose. My insurance covers some of it... I found an Ac. near my campus so it will be easy to keep with the schedule even if school starts. And if my benefits run out there is a community acupuncture clinic where the fee is based on how much you earn, which for me, is nothing. I like that. I really like naturopathy, but it's much more expensive and so far, alone, has not given me results. There's a free consultation that I'm going to next week, to tell them about what's been going on...

Maxy's brother has been here for more than a week. Unfortunately we haven't really clicked yet... I really want things to go well... this last attack (the anxiety and feeling sick) took a lot of my confidence away and I'm not feeling in the outgoing sort of mood. More like "gosh I just want to recuperate and hope this doesn't happen again." He just doesn't seem that interested in trying anything new. But I suppose he's probably here to see Max more than anything, so it's normal he doesn't seem to care? I gave him a bunch of English study books but he's watching Korean dramas and cooking Korean food all day... and speaking Korean all day (I can't understand a thing of what's going on in my own house... or when I can understand it's like I'm mute because I can't speak Korean (yet?) ) And doing Korean boy things like drinking and smoking (not in the house, of course).

So now I'm feeling homesick in my own house! I don't want to feel this way... and I feel like a lot of it is my fault but I don't really know how to get things in motion. I'm getting pretty hungry... the boys LOVE greasy food... eggs, sausage, strange fried noodle concoctions, and even stews, salads covered in mayonnaise~~~ and FISHY food. If it doesn't smell like a pier it's not worth their attention. I've tried to cook a few times (my best recipes)... chicken marsala, enchiladas, nachos de Malia, vegetables with sweet and sour chicken... and just get slightly disappointed vibes everytime. But I myself get slightly disappointed everytime the food is greasy because I know I am going to feel awful if I eat it. And when you know you're going to feel awful then nothing really tastes good even if it really does (who doesn't LOVE greasy food? I love it, but...) I can't communicate that because 1)I feel rude 2) I feel embarassed

When is it safe for someone to put their foot down?

He did pick out a movie for us to watch together (haha I wouldn't have picked it myself but it was all right~~~) "Enchanted"... I missed that one when it was in the theaters. I think the best recent Disney movie was the Princess and the Frog. And Ratatouille. Haha for some reason I can watch Ratatouille again and again. I guess the food divide is the most exhausting, because every meal requires so much thought "What SHOULD we eat?" "Who should cook?" "Am I going to be able to eat it?" haha and... "Is this going to require a base of fish broth???" He was also a good sport and went to play tennis with me one day... a day with a rare break in the clouds! Rare for Oregon! Speaking of which, today is clear! I'm gonna get my butt down to the mall to get a haircut! (my hair is are falling out like crazy.)

I'm Back

I'm back after the (short) Thanksgiving Break. Actually, it felt pretty long (because there are basically no breaks at my university...) I think I've been seeing some improvement. This is all I'm taking now:

If you have any issue this does not substitute for seeking treatment from anyone. It is merely a description of what is happening in my life. When in doubt always seek help from a qualified provider.

-fish oil, breakfast/dinner

-low dose B-vitamin with C (Solgar), 1 at breakfast

-magnesium glycinate (1 50 tablet, breakfast and dinner)

-taurine 1000 mg, breakfast and dinner

-zinc citrate 15 (mg?)

-vitamin D3 drops for kids (low dose)

-5-HTP, 50 mg, 1x a day, when I sense that I'm getting tearful and on edge again

ALSO... trying to avoid copper

So far so good on that. Vitamin D3, despite my deficiency in it, consistently seems to give me an on-edge sort of feeling. I try to take it earlier in the day. It's been about 3 weeks since I have seen any doctor so I am doing better. I have not had one night where I could not fall asleep for a few weeks now. Things are slowly but surely stabilizing... I really don't know what happened. It was probably a combination of the detox diet I was doing (even though it was not extreme! I was following a paleo diet... lean proteins, light on carb, rich in vegetables and fruits.) Fruits can set me off I guess. Then I tried an herbal mixture... I still think there is something really wonky with my immune system and that there is probably some kind of toxin left from the vaccine, or even if the toxins don't bother people, not all people have the same immune response to those toxins. There is a protocol outlined by Dr. Baylock (Blaylock) for treating negative vaccine reactions advising against any mushroom/immune stimulating extracts. Something there is still dysfunctional, which is evident because I have had a low-level mono infection for more than 2 years. He's really good, he wrote one of my favorite books: "Excitotoxins: The Taste that Kills" all about MSG and aspartate... not the BEST book in the world but it was pretty good.

Let's see... what else is working...

-prayer and meditation

-avoiding googling my symptoms (for the health anxiety that all these symptoms started... I'll admit it is there but I really don't think it's everything...)

-www.anxietyzone.com-- a bunch of people with crazy symptoms... who are surviving... it helps with my feeling of being all alone in this

Max's brother is here. There's a lot of getting acquainted we still have to do but just like my health, I'll just take it slow and natural. I really want things to work out but it has stirred up some anxiousness and requires some adjusting but nothing too crazy. I have a speaking final in Japanese tomorrow (so I'm going to take my studying to the net and just write out some of the potential dialogues/things I may say tomorrow to help me study) and if you have fun reading Japanese, by all means

どうぞ、読んでもいいです。