One More Girl Documentary Will Be Made!

http://www.prlog.org/11435516-funded-one-more-girl-exposing-the-other-side-of-mercks-one-less-hpv-campaign.html

The PR Release link is above.

People believe enough in the "anecdotal evidence" to back this film. So if you are a mother, or a daughter, or a woman affected by this vaccine they are now looking for females to show in the documentary. I would, although my own experience is with only one dose of the vaccine and my side effects relatively mild. Thank goodness I realized something was rotten with the vaccine and didn't accept any subsequent doses. I hope girls will continue to refuse this vaccine and/or subsequent doses if they are experiencing side effects so they do not have to experience what the worst affected have.

I'm looking forward to the documentary.

On Depression, Anxiety, and Inflammation (LINK)

Human Interleukin-10, Wikimedia Commons

Yoon, S.I., Logsdon, N.J., Sheikh, F., Donnelly, R.P., Walter, M.R. Conformational changes mediate IL-10R2 binding to IL-10 and assembly of the signaling complex. J.Biol.Chem. , 2006

an anti-inflammatory human cytokine (the bad guys that make you feel sick when you catch a virus or your immune system is active) I was under the impression that cytokines are always bad guys in excess, but as with everything in the human body, it's all about a balance. Fascinating character, can't explain it better than wikipedia so I suggest you check there if you're interested.

Looking at it isn't gonna change your life, but for me it was nostalgic to look at the pig-tail "alpha helices" Doesn't look like there are any beta sheets going on... hummm (= __ -)

Not much to note. I get to keep working because I told my story and they took me at my word which is a relief because I do not want to have to scan a bunch of documents from doctors (getting the documents is enough of a struggle and doctors are busy enough... all the bureaucratic stuff must certainly be a hindrance to the overloaded system)

Tutoring was fun today. Slept ok. Slightly rough start but did ok and didn't feel like my mouth was going numb when I was trying to tutor today... no anxiety but I think I definitely have a 5-HTP related headache today and feel drugged, sleepy, and achy. Made it through my test but my head was hurrrrr-ting. Not a migraine or anything, I think it's definitely a side effect of the 5-HTP and all 5-HTPs little helpers (taurine, magnesium). Lunch and drinking water definitely HELPED with the headache. So adequate food and water is definitely a must while I'm on this stuff...

The things they do not take you in biology. I cannot tell you the degree of how exothermic or endothermic the binding of a protein to a cell receptor site is (I don't really care) but I'm definitely getting fluent at reading articles... and kind of feel a nostalgic sort of pangs when I read articles (such as the one linked below) and I see little protein model depictions... nostalgic pangs for biology class... it's too bad they make it so damn hard for people to succeed. And the immense frustration I feel that that is what science must be about... who cares if you can understand the bigger picture, if you are interested in specific research questions that are relevant to the times and needs of society... why should potential pioneers be turned away and disenfranchised because they do not fit into the painful molds that university's create to measure success? I've learned more in outside reading than I have ever learned in a lecture hall. Perhaps the base of my difficulty focusing on the subjects is my disinterest in what they force me to learn. And it's not even disinterest but I think the pressure and inflated importance placed on test performance... I can try to understand the abstract concepts or I can drill my faculties down to naught studying what feel like relative frivolities that show up on tests. Absolutely maddening to do 67 work when you feel like you have understanding.

http://intelegen.com/nutrients/natural_support_for_depression.htm

Very interesting article... interesting that historically anti-depressant herbs... and even modern remedies... act as anti-inflammatories in the body. I do believe in the neuro-immune research that is coming out that is showing a lot of how vaccines do damage is getting somewhere. And don't even get me started on the environmental-endocrine hypothesis. And excitotoxins. I'll try to avoid falling into putting stock in conspiracy theories... (neither of the above mentioned are [conspiracy theories], although they can certainly lead one to think they are) but many do comethe notion (in error) that progress is positive and that the latest and greatest can't possibly pose to mind. I like to think the only evil thing at play here is man's despicable love of money...

Again I was actually able to tell something of a story in my blog today. It must mean that something is getting better.

Spoke too Soon

***

Well, seems like I spoke to soon yesterday. It was nice to have the brief moments of clarity... and then the feelings came over me all of a sudden at just about the time I got off the computer. Some things are starting to come into place for me... fear of MS or a brain tumor is lifting... but I definitely think there is something neurological to all of this.

I suspect dysautonomia. It's a confusion in the autonomic nervous system. That means things I used to take for granted, say, being able to wake up with a general idea of how I would feel throughout the day, and even the next day, are no longer guaranteed. Also why I have attacks of strange feelings that can be mistaken for anxiety. And of course, worrying about all of this certainly results in feeling anxious.

I found this website:

http://www.dynakids.org
There are great articles in the resources section.



It's a little suspicious that with the exception of the Yellow Wiggle, all the affected there are pubescent girls and young women. Perhaps it has something to do with the developing female hormones and... childhood/young adult vacs...

My mother had similar although not as debilitating symptoms at my age.

Flares/Initiation of the disease are set off by a variety of factors, including viruses and chemical exposure. No surprise considering that I had a viral illness then was shot up with 3 vaccines containing neurotoxic activated aluminum... in conjunction with viral particle nasties, MSG, Polysorbate and other roach killers. ANYWAY this current flare followed an effort by a naturopath to get my immune system moving... and then it was going-going-gone... I had a bad seasonal flu virus... and the diet change. Had also been doing saunas and mineral baths that may have pulled some minerals out of my system, temporarily overloading it with prior stressors.

Things that make disorders in the dysautonomia family better? Well, salt (minerals), lots of water (i.e., enough blood pumping through the veins) Most people don't see improvement on the allopathic "medications." So here's to weathering this storm. Hopefully it will be over soon.

It's Friday and I feel regretful that I have not hung out with my friends but once this term when my friend invited me to his birthday party dine-in at his place. That was fun. Everyone's been busy. Can't blame people for not wanting to be around me.

I could ask my Dr. to tilt-table test me... but this test has been sufficiently completed at the dentist's office. Twice I visited the dentist this year. The first time I remember when I was tilted back I was fine, and then immediately I had the strangest feeling come over me. Like a panic attack, but for no reason. I am not afraid of the dentist. I sort of groaned a little because I wanted more than anything to sit up... hell... go ahead and perform the procedure but the position was killing me.

And then, the next time I visited the dentist this year (the filling wasn't perfect on my bite and I was getting holes in my bottom tooth) the exact same thing happened, luckily it was a shorter procedure.

And laying down in bed, especially if my pillow is not big enough, is often an ordeal. I'm not going to deny that there isn't a definite anxiety component to this BUT I do know there is something more than anxiety alone at play here. And don't try to tell me its some kind of mistaken notion. Thanks to this flare up I've got to go back to all the "cognitive behavioral" stuff... trying to turn my thoughts around. And I guess even take celexa again (although if my problem is with blood pressure I don't know how that would do anything to help.) My blood pressure is consistently low low low at the drs office and my heart rate always consistently high high high.

Why couldn't it just be something simple... like a broken arm... that people know how to fix...

My horoscope is right. The change has to be inside of me.

Some Fog has Cleared

Been a few days since I wrote here *gasp*.

My parents came down for the weekend to help me out, had a good day on Saturday, a little off on Sunday, and then until today this week has been pretty hard. Even this morning was really rough. Lot's of doctor's appointments. Good news is the cyst probably won't need surgery, it is probably already on its way to recovery. There is a check-up coming after the end of the term to make sure it goes away.

I am off progesterone for the time being... after my functional med dr. said the dose was way too high... no wonder I was having side effects from it. And my cycle has began for the first time in about a month and a half. At least the progesterone works to jump start things... however getting the right dose is tricky. As expected, I am encouraged to go on synthetic hormone bcps because of the PCOS (not by the functional med dr.) but if keeping my weight low and working on diet, insulin resistance and such will keep the cycle regular, I prefer that method. Because I feel sicker around my cycle I'm cautiously optimistic that things will turn around after this week. Now I know how werewolves are. Except these symptoms make me feel more like a were-human.

I'm getting tested for leaky gut and parasites. Getting the samples ready is kind of a pain in the butt.

Mom watered the seed in my head that I might have a brain tumor, although my strongest suspicion is still that the vaccine did something to my immune system. Maybe my immune system is finally calming down. Glands under my tongue that have been swollen for months have gone down slightly since my cycle began. I was also having night sweats... and horrible anxiety this week. Very much like in Japan. I don't know if it feels worse because it is worse or worse because I'm more comfortable around my family and in Japan I had to do my very best to pull myself together for my host family and as a scholarship student I had many commitments and events (such as going to tour the Mazda factory.) Very exciting time in my life, but also a very scary one. And even though I'm scared that it may be a brain tumor or MS or something, my symptoms don't completely fit that picture... looks like an as of yet misunderstood immune reaction. It's not all that implausible... vaccines have been discontinued when they have done similar things to the public. One that I discovered is Lymerix, the vaccine for Lyme disease which is no longer out in public because of the extremely high rate of people having reactions to it. Oh if I had a billion dollars, there would have to be some research in the area of reversing vaccine damage or more understanding on what appear to be autoimmune responses.

Or, this reaction could very well be the symptoms provoke great anxiety which in turn causes and exacerbates the symptoms. This is a tough nut to crack.

The mechanism of injury for the Lymerix vaccine appeared to be the inclusion of the lyme protein itself... probably the reason that lyme disease is so devastating because the proteins of the infections agents (besides the special tricks the bacterium can play) mimic the proteins of tissues. The immune system forms a memory of that protein (amino acid sequence) and then the cells in the system designed to target the bacterium are confused and start doing their job on tissues of the body! How confusing!

Theories are the same as Epstein Barr Virus linked to Multiple Sclerosis. Generally, any immune reaction puts an individual at risk for Guillian Barre. I'm going to look into what naturopathy does about autoimmune illnesses, although it seems that as naturopathic methods are natural, they aim to stimulate the immune system. That process is a little dangerous in those with these "bad memories" in their immune cells... which is why I'm sure I had a flare of this after having my immune system stimulated. And now that I'm getting run down... I truly hope I can go back to just being a worn down version of myself instead of completely nuts. Just the anxiety is sickening.

Also can report that I test negative for all the classic autoimmune diseases: RA and Lupus. Sed rates don't show that anything is going on, but I'm certainly weakened by the nausea, weight loss, anxiety, lack of appetite and so on and so forth. But feeling more optimistic because I'm feeling better tonight. Getting worried because I can make it through a great day and crash at night... hopefully not tonight... because the anxiety meds just don't really help.

Actually feeling a little like knitting tonight and watching some TV shows with my hubby... this is improvement. Made it through class and my mind for homework has somewhat come back. No more immune stimulation for me after this episode.

Walking down memory lane... pictures are from my trip to the Mazda main headquarters in Hiroshima Japan in the midst of my first health crisis after getting the vaccine. Part symptoms, part anxiety... so much I didn't know. I do believe it was a beautiful experience, but can't help but feel bittnerness that the magnitude of that beauty was affected by that vaccine... I guess i'm working on coming to terms with it.

My Momiji Racer design won that day for the car design contest~~~ (But really, the true prize was being able to go to Japan, I would have never been able to afford the study abroad without the scholarship I received) momiji is maple leaf, which is a symbol of Hiroshima/Miyajima. One of the popular local souvenirs is momiji manjuu or Maple Leaf shaped dessert buns. There's nothing quite like eating one straight from Nishikido

A little write-up in the local paper

With Ryuga, Mazda's concept car. Just like all the ones you see in magazines.