"I don't remember how that day started. I certainly didn't think my life would change at all. The day was the result of change. School had ended the day before, I'd gone home to do my normal chores and to sleep, and then I was awake again. Change can happen as simple as that-just closing your eyes, and opening them again. No matter what, when you open your eyes the world will not be the same as the world you left by shutting them."
From a story I wrote years ago, in high school. The opening paragraph. However, it sums up a lot of feelings I'm going through right now.
I went to my naturopath today. We're reassessing the situation and hopefully will be on the move soon. In the meanwhile, Ativan is the only thing that is bringing me some relief but it also drugs me and makes me feel as uncoordinated and wonky as I'm feeling in the first place.
I was able to make it through class and tutoring easily today, but still feeling much trepidation and worry about what's going to happen and if I will ever feel better or not.